2012 London Olympics: Team Westeros

By Charlie Harwood on Aug 1, 2012 to Game of Thrones

First off, I love the Olympics. Some of my best childhood memories come from watching the Games with my mom, cheering for our home countries. I remember watching the original “Dream Team” take home Gold in Barcelona, and the emotional moment as Derek Redmond’s father helped his son cross the finish line. I remember when Kerri Strug courageously vaulted her way to a Gold Medal on a badly hurt ankle; and when Michael Johnson smashed the record books on his way to becoming the “fastest man alive”. I also remember Usain Bolt breaking Johnson’s record 12 years later, and when Steve Redgrave became a British legend by winning Gold in five straight Olympic Games.

Every four years the Summer Olympic Games leave us with a new set of unforgettable moments. While watching this year’s Opening Ceremony, I couldn’t help but wonder what the great performances of 2012 will be. However, one question remained permanently fixed in my mind: “What if Westeros had an Olympic team?” Actually, the idea isn’t as crazy as it sounds because Team Westeros would definitely have some worthy contenders. In fact, a few characters from Game of Thrones have talents that could easily place them on top of the medals podium.

So, who are these “Gold Medal Characters” from Game of Thrones you ask? Well, along with their respective events, here are the characters who I think would dominate the 2012 Olympics in London:

Warning: Stop Reading If You Can’t Handle Awesome Photoshop Pictures!

(Click each image to enlarge)

George R.R. Martin – Team Captain, Flag Bearer, Creator of Worlds: Of course, GRRM has to be captain of Team Westeros. After all, these characters are “his children” and it’s only fitting that he leads the way. Appropriately, he should also be the one to the bear the flag during the Opening Ceremony (Or maybe five flags, one for each king). We just have to remind George that he can’t kill off any characters while the Olympics are underway, or else they’ll be disqualified.
  Arya ­– Torch Bearer: Little Arya sure does get around these days. So far, her travels have taken her from Winterfell, to King’s Landing, to Harrenhal, and now who knows where. While on the “run”, Arya would be a great choice to carry the Olympic torch. The Hound would also be an excellent torch bearer, but he has that whole “issue with fire” thing. (Yes, she is holding the actual torch from the 2012 Games.)
  Syrio – Fencing: The “First Sword of Braavos” is the obvious favorite to win Gold in fencing. I can’t imagine anyone matching Syrio’s incredible sword skills. After all, he did take out a five fully-armored King’s Guardsmen with a wooden sword. “What do we say to Bronze and Silver Medals? Not today!”
  Gendry – Boxing: Shirtless Gendry has the physique of an excellent boxer. One look at those python arms is enough evidence that he can definitely land some nice power jabs and knockout punches. Stop drooling ladies!
  Jaime and Brienne – Canoe/Kayak Racing:No explanation needed!
  Theon Greyjoy – Swimming:Ironislanders have a deep bond with the sea, so Theon is naturally the best candidate to take home Gold in swimming. Although splashing about while screaming “What is Dead May Never Die” may lead to penalties on his laptime.
  The Mountain – Weightlifting:Widely regarded as the strongest man in Westeros, The Mountain should easily win any weightlifting event. His massive build and aggressive personality should make him a force to be reckoned with. Also, any man that can chop off a horse’s head in one blow should just be given the Gold Medal.
King Robert – Hammer Throw:In his younger days, Robert Baratheon prided himself on his skills with a war hammer. While this isn’t quite the same, I bet he could still throw the crap out of that thing.
  Anguy – Archery:A new character for Season Three, Anguy is an immensely talented archer and member of the Brotherhood Without Banners. Philip McGinley has been cast to play this role, so he’s the one pulling back the bowstrings.
  Khal Drogo – Equestrian:Ok, I know the Dothraki aren’t fromWesteros, and allowing them to compete is quite a precarious situation. However, you can’t deny the fact that they are the best horsemen around and would be the favorites to win any Equestrian event. As team leader, George R.R. Martin should explain to the Khal that you’re not supposed to melt down the Gold Medals, and pillaging the Olympic Village is frowned upon.
  Sansa – Gymnastics:There’s no real evidence from the show or the novels that support why Sansa would be an excellent gymnast. But, it just seems like she would be the most likely one to throw on a leotard and school everyone in the Uneven Bars.

Other Notable Westerosi Olympians

Bran and Hodor – Paralympics Wheelchair Races:Using Hodor as his wheelchair, Bran rounds the corner with a commanding lead!
Jon Snow and Ygritte – Two Man Bobsled:Their time North of the Wall should give these two an excellent chance of competing in anything that has to do with ice or snow. “Winter Olympics is Coming”.

Author’s Note: Aren’t the Olympics great? They’re especially fun when you mix them with your favorite TV show. Hope you guys enjoyed this just as much as I did! If you’re not laughing too hard, keep the humor going in our comments section and let us know who you think would make a good Olympian. Enjoy the Olympics everyone!

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9 Comments on "2012 London Olympics: Team Westeros"

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Sansa? The most likely to play a fool? Ridiculous… she’s a proper lady,
Not to mention that her upbringing most certainly didn’t involve any kind of acrobatics. Arya would be a much better choice for that… but if she’s the torch-bearer, I propose Shae or Meera as the gymnasts, they both have extensive training in varied forms of acrobatics. :)
(Though, torch bearers are also competitors, so Arya could still be it.)

Um, disregard the Arya argument, I confused torch and flag bearers.
Though, in that case Barristan should be the torch bearer, as a past world-class athlete and champion. :)

“After all, he did take out a five fully-armored King’s Guardsmen with a wooden sword”

Those were Lannister “Red Cloak” household guards, not King’s Guardsmen. The only member of the Kings Guard there was the one that (presumably) killed Syrio.

Hahaha, epic! Three guesses which event I’ll be watching! Repeatedly. In slow motion.

CHARLIE!!!!!! This is the best article, I love the humour and the spirit of the Olympics in it! Nice! Especially love Khal Drogo in the Equestrian section, Syrio for Fencing, Arya as the Torch Bearer and Jon & Ygritte in the Two Man Bobsled competition! :)

Thank you for the laugh!!! Im stuck between 3, not sure if Jaime/Brienne, Drogo or Hodor/Bran are the best. Altho I think Drogo would be the first to win Gold! :^)


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