Let’s be honest. Every TV show has those characters you love to hate. Sometimes you’re on the same page as most of the audience, sometimes you’re not. Did you hate LOST’s Nikki and Paulo as much as I did? Do you feel like you could just punch old yellow-eyes from Supernatural in the face? Or shove a sock down Janice’s throat from Friends? We’ve all been there. And though we here at HBOWatch are obviously huge fans of most of the goings-on of True Blood, there are naturally going to be a few characters here and there that just won’t quit. I’m going to be breaking it down in terms of grating quirks, irritating behavior, and just downright annoying qualities to find out who is, in fact, the most annoying character on True Blood. (Please take in to account that I am not considering any characters who have met their end, or those that have been relegated to the background in recent seasons.)
Sookie Stackhouse
Traits: fairy powers, indecisiveness with men who are in love with her, ability to read minds, really bad luck with death in the family
Most annoying moment: I know we’ve all got a laundry list a mile long of all the times Sookie has annoyed us. Was it when she turned down Sam? Or when she turned down Eric and Bill at the same time? Or when she first said no to Bill’s proposal, only to come back and have him kidnapped? What about her decision to turn Tara into a vampire? Or what about her uncanny ability yo get angry with people after they’ve just done something for her (even if it is a little questionable)? Or, as Tara so aptly pointed out last week, is it her never-ending life of near death experiences, only to be handled/fixed/brought back to life/take a bullet/die all for her sake? Or how about how she always insists on defying all of the advice bestowed on her by those trying to look after her because she swears she should just stand her ground and face whatever comes? I was pissed when she couldn’t pick either Eric or Bill (even though I feel the answer was so obvious); I was pissed when Tara took a bullet for her; I was pissed when she was so naive so as to believe that Debbie wanted to do anything other than hurt her. I think that’s my biggest problem with Sookie: I just think she makes terrible decisions in the heat of the moment. (However, if she wants to always drown her sorrows with copious amounts of liquor, I’m all for that.)
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 9
Tara Thornton
Traits: uncontrollable sass, sheer rage, masochistic, impressionable to a fault
Most annoying moment: Trying to fry herself alive in a tanning bed. This one was a toss up between her masochistic tango with the UV lights and her entire role in Maryann’s evil tryst with Bon Temps in season 2. But because I can’t really be unbiased about anything that happened in season 2 (because I hated it), I’ll stand firm in my decision. Though it may have just happened, I uttered an audible UUUGGHHH when she climbed in that bed and flipped the switch. I knew Tara The Vampire wasn’t going to be an easy road to walk on, but good grief. Buck up and either stake yourself or realize that you’re now more powerful than you’ve ever been in your miserable life and take advantage of it! This could be the only time in all of True Blood that Tara isn’t a worthless, angry victim. Just shut the hell up about how mad you are that Sookie and Lafayette did this to you. Are you really telling us that you’d rather be dead than a powerful fucking vampire who can take control of her life for the first time EVER? Ugh.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 10
Bill Compton
Traits: emo bangs, jealousy over Sookie’s male conquests, nearly sleeping with his great-great-granddaughter
Most annoying moment: Though Bill’s had is fair share of terrible moments, this one’s got to be when he nearly killed Sookie. Right? That seems like a good starting point. Do I think his real intentions with Sookie were kind of deplorable? Sure. But whatever. Do I think he acts like a total dick now that he’s King? Totally. But nothing was as awful as his near murder of the one he supposedly loves. I get that he had just gone through hell and was in need of sustenance, but hold yourself together man! Not to mention the fact that he is just sinfully boring. I mean snooze.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 7
Eric Northman
Don’t be ridiculous. Of course it’s not Eric.
Pam de Beaufort
Traits: great sense of style, firecracker wit, Eric’s progeny, super fast texting skills
Most annoying moment: Considering I love Pam so much and am so glad to see her role continue to become a more prominent one, it’s hard for me to really harp on her for any bad behavior. That being said, she only ever really got on my last nerve during season 4 when she just totally lost her shit over Eric and her jealousy of Sookie got the best of her. Sookie has only ever been nice to Pam, and just because Eric was with her (and without a memory, no less) and not by your side every five seconds doesn’t mean you can go all high school bitch on her. Eric wasn’t in his right mind when he had to take leave from Fangtasia. You wanted him to be safe, so we was with Sookie to do just that. You were just pissed that your face was dying and Sookie was getting all the attention. She still hates Sookie, even though she hasn’t really done anything to warrant such hate. Pam’s just a jealous little brat. But I still lover her.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 4
Jason Stackhouse
Traits: affable charm, insatiable sex drive, part fae, dumb as a box of rocks
Most annoying moment: When he slaps Sookie after Gran’s death. I mean, WHAT IN THE FUCK. I remember the shock and anger radiating off of me after he did that. First and foremost, NO. Secondly, Jason is a gleefully ignorant, always trying to do the right thing, sweetheart underneath all that raw sexual energy. This was the lowest of all his lows, and though he had had a rough go of it and was angry, slapping Sookie was uncalled for. That’s by far the most unforgivable thing he’s done on the show in my opinion (and he’s done some really stupid shit). You don’t get away with slapping your only family just because you’re pissed off. She’s all you have left! A close second to this would be his involvement with all that Hotshot business. Yuck. What a quagmire of crap that all was.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 6
Andy Bellefleur
Traits: V addict, gruff demeanor, professionally inept, related to Bill
Most annoying moment: One of the most aimless characters on the show, poor Andy Bellefleur is just blech. He’s practically incapable of being a useful, successful sheriff, and his addiction to V was just plain sad. For a while I felt bad for him–like when he was really being thrown around during all the maenad business–but my empathy has since abided and I now just consider Andy Bellefleur a hapless loser. Do I like him with Holly? Sure. But I still think he’s a big dullard. Perhaps the height of his pesky behavior was all the times he incorrectly arrested/accused a resident of Bon Temps for a crime they didn’t commit. Jason, Sam, Sookie–they’ve all been at the receiving end of Andy’s drunken accusations. During season 1 when he was hellbent on getting Jason locked up for the murders that Rene committed, he was SO annoying. And then he fell into a drunken stupor for much of season 2 and 3, only acting more idiotic with each passing case. His V addiction was just as bothersome, and made him even more unlikeable.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 4
Arlene Fowler
Traits: extremely conservative, terrible luck with men, bad taste in makeup, bigot
Most annoying moment: Lord. Arlene, Arlene, Arlene. Resident Merlotte’s bigot, vampire scaredy-cat, professional whiner. It’s hard for me to pick a specific moment in which Arlene HASN’T annoyed the crap out of me, to be honest. Her judgmental attitude towards vampires & most supernatural creatures is enough to make my head spin. WE GET IT. You don’t approve. Fuck off. All she does is whine and complain and judge. Her jealousy toward Jessica when she starts working at Merlotte’s was just atrocious, as was her haste to give her children silver bracelets when they were being babysat by Bill & Sookie. She’s constantly making snide remarks about vamps (and Sookie), and if I didn’t know any better I’d say she was even kind of racist. AND, after treating Sookie like shit during the first season, she has the gall to ask her to read the mind of the next guy she’s interested in to make sure he’s not, you know, a serial killer or anything. SHUT UP.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 9
Jessica Hamby
Traits: fiery red hair, fierce sexual presence, Bill’s progeny, former Christian conservative
Most annoying moment: When she first came on the scene as Bill’s progeny. Remember when we were first introduced to Jessica The Vampire? She was all teen angst and short skirts and sass. She treated Bill like shit, she acted like a baby, and she downright nearly intolerable. (At this time of course, I didn’t dislike Bill as much as I do so I felt bad that she was being mean to him.) Jessica has grown into one of my favorite characters, even despite some of her questionable behavior as of late. Her decision to leave Hoyt bummed me out too, and I almost put that here, but I realize now that their breakup was a necessary and natural progression for both of those characters.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 2
Steve Newlin
Traits: being Steve Newlin
Most annoying moment: Out of ALL the things Steve has done that have made me want to strangle him with his own sweater, I think the choice to have him be in love with Jason this season is the absolute worst. At least before, when he was just regular Steve Newlin, he was that creepy cult leader who was just terrible enough, but in a good evil kind of way. Now, he’s a vampire–and now a part of the Authority, no less–which you think would be the only big thing we needed from him during this season. But for whatever reason, the writers decided to have him profess his undying love for Jason Stackhouse. Groan. I think we could all agree that Steve always had a thing for Jason, but this storyline is A) ludicrous; B) headed towards a dead-end. and C) belongs on a soap opera. Now he’s campier than ever, but not in a good way.
Annoying on a scale of 1-10: 8
After a thorough assessment of all that is True Blood, I believe I can come to the conclusion that the most annoying character on True Blood is Tara Thornton! Not that surprising, I know. And it really was a toss up between her and Sookie. Take this for what you will and make your own decisions. But I want to know: What do you think Truebies? Who do you think wears the crown as the most annoying person on True Blood?
I spew my thoughts about all kinds of other stuff too over at ReelSnarky.com. Check it out for the latests movie news, trailers, viral videos, and lust-worthy photos. Snark free with every post! (I tweet too, natch.)
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