I’ve had the theme song to this show stuck in my head since starting the first episode and you know what, I’m not even salty about it. I just really need a vacation at this point in life. But back at the lush White Lotus resort, a brand new day is emerging for our guests. The Mossbacher family is showing their family dynamic in the best, yet most painful ways. Mark (Steve Zahn) is thrilled he isn’t dying of cancer in his balls, so he’s in full dad mode and ready to celebrate his life. What he’s not ready for is learning what his father actually died of. Some people take that news better than others but man alive, Nicole’s (Connie Britton) face was the scene-stealing moment there. Could not stop laughing at her expression. Meanwhile, son Quinn (Fred Hechinger) keeps getting shit on by his sister Olivia (Sydney Sweeney) and her BFF Paula (Brittany O’Grady). Here’s a kid who is possibly Autistic or at the very minimum socially awkward around people and his sister is just constantly a bitch to him. And as someone with an Autistic brother, those two girls were starting to rub me the wrong way and piss me off. Do teen boys masturbate? Sure, but you don’t have to assume he’s going to be a perv to your friend especially since he’s hardly said a dozen words to you. Feeling unwelcome in his own suite obviously, Quinn goes to sleep on the beach and honestly, seeing the whale was worth it. I’d probably want to sleep on the beach in Hawaii too.
The Acclaimed Face of Shock
But busy mom Nicole, are you even on vacation? Between rearranging the clutter aka needing to be in control and answering emails from people who know you’re on vacation, you’re not actually relaxing. Maybe you feel better having a sense of control over things, which I totally get but honey, just stop. Those college girls are just going to trash the room again. Moving turtles isn’t going to help. Speaking of the girls, they had the funniest scene for me this week. You know how sometimes you’re just sitting there and you’re like, “I wish I had drugs” and then proceed to pull a damn pharmacy out of your purse? Yeah, me either, but these girls were stocked. I’m curious how those ASMR sounds would actually be. Seemed pretty relaxing in the moment, especially for Paula, who Olivia later sees making nice with a busboy. Trouble in paradise?
The Newlyweds in Paradise
Well, for Rachel (Alexandra Daddario) and Shane (Jake Lacy) there’s definitely a storm brewing. In the last episode, Rachel opened up to Olivia and Paula and she’s stuck in this moment between her career and her marriage. Seeking advice, she runs into Nicole and asks for input. Here’s the thing about perception, it varies and what you think of something, someone else might not agree. You thought the piece you did was fluff? Nicole very much disagrees. I think it was a really shocking moment for Rachel to realize that not everyone agrees with what you have to say about them or how you present your writing. I know how I feel about these article reviews but I certainly would never expect someone working at HBO to crow about it. Nicole did give Rachel some very solid advice, and I think she’s going to very solidly ignore it. Shane is miffed she would agree to work on her honeymoon at all and I wanted her to slap him across the face for that offer. She’s your spouse, not your employee. Clearly, you guys have very different relationships with money and it is something that needs to be communicated about. If you want her to not take the article, then use your big boy words and explain your feelings. Don’t offer her money to sell her soul because you can’t hack having a wife who might work on your honeymoon mainly because you’re the type of douche canoe that likely doesn’t want a wife who works outside the home. He likes lording his money over her and everyone. If he didn’t, he would have let Armond (Murray Bartlett) off after his apology.
This man has seen things.
And that was honestly a huge moment! Armond is shook up after what happened with Lani (Jolene Purdy). He’s also an addict in recovery and having a bag of drugs turned into lost and found offers some massive complications. I expected Armond to go down a dark and slippery slope against Shane. I still am, but this week he did his job and admitted there might have been a mistake and he’ll do what he can to fix it and get them the d*mn Pineapple Suite. Not that Shane deserves it, but Armond did right. He did good and I’m scared these drugs might be his undoing. Speaking of drugs, Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) seems high off life here on the island and especially getting treatment from spa manager Belinda (Natasha Rothwell). What a terribly difficult spot for Belinda to be in! This rich, white woman has one great experience and becomes obsessed with you. On the one hand, great cash! On the other hand, at what point is this lady gonna snap or go off the deep end? Owning your own business sounds hecking amazing, but maybe not when the strings are tied to someone who seems potentially unstable. I’m interested in seeing how this dynamic progresses because I feel like Tanya needs to save Belinda, who obviously needs no saving. I’m sensing some storms on the horizon and certain visitors might make waves. I know at least one face who has yet to appear on the island and I’m so hooked to see what happens next week at the White Lotus! I’m already hoping it gets renewed as a location where people can come every year as an anthology series much like the delightful Room 104. I would review this for years if possible. If only so I can keep hearing that theme song.
