The Bitch is Back!!! Everyone’s favorite diva has returned to the spotlight for one final season. Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder have kept me hooked, laughing, and crying my ass off these last four seasons. I cannot wait to see what this dynamic duo and all the accompanying entourage bring us this season. With high stakes left off from last season, let’s see what Deb (Smart) is ready to do for her career. Knowing her, it will be just about anything. This woman has paid off cops and brought drugs to a work function. The better question is what won’t she do?!
Just to jog your memory, last season, Deb finally landed late night, though not without some bumps and bruises to her relationship with Ava (Einbinder). The two patched it up, crushed the late-night game, until a douche ruined it. As men do. The duo pivoted to another side of the globe, where the passion died, though TMZ announcing your death will certainly provide a shock to the system. A big enough one to get her back in the game? We shall see.
Deb returns to the States, providing an epic jump scare for some of her fans. They’ve been out of touch with media perception in the U.S., so it’s a nice big pile the asshole exec has been dumping on them. Bob’s (Tony Goldwyn) enjoying quite the smear campaign since Deb fled to Singapore. She needs to shift the narrative, and she needs to do it now. But how?
Her crack team behind the scenes has its own issues. Jimmy (Paul W. Downs) and Kayla (Megan Stalter) are struggling to afford their $30,000/month office situation. Considering how much and how fast they’re losing clients, it would potentially make sense to downsize from Jimmy’s perspective. To Kayla, they need to maintain a certain facade for client-facing. Both are right. Yes, they need a nice office so the clients understand the measures they’ll take as agents. If someone can’t even have a nice office, how would you expect them to treat their job working on your behalf? But jesus lord, $30,000 a month, Kayla?!?! Plus, you lost Lassie?! It’s time to downsize. You and Jimmy can figure out how to share or just find something cheaper and smaller. But whatever you do, never ever ever ever get rid of Robby Hoffman. Give this woman all the roles!!! Between her spot here as Randi and her appearance as the roommate on Rooster (more on that in another post), I am obsessed. Whatever her brand of comedy, I’m buying for life.
But after some toiling, Deb lands on the perfect solution: the prestigious EGOT. For the unindoctrinated, the EGOT is when someone in the performing arts gets an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony. Only 27 people have completed this, marking how complex and widespread one’s talent must be to accomplish it. Well, good thing for Deb, she’s halfway there. With a daytime Emmy and a Tony under her wing, she just needs a Grammy and an Oscar. Not a problem.
Step one: Hire a legendary writer to ghostwrite your memoirs, which you will turn into an audiobook and nail the Grammy for. Step two: get absolutely annoyed by the writer’s immersive experience and detest 
working with him. Step three: Fire him. Step four: Insert yourself into a tejano album instead. Step five: Win? Step six: Goddamn Deb, you need a new plan. Here’s the thing, Deb’s not dumb. Every plan she’s leaned into has been for a reason. Comedians writing memoirs and making audiobooks have been a hit genre at the Grammys. But since she can’t stand the writer’s method, she pivots. What’s underrepresented and due for a win? What’s a category she can jump into and bring her big name to? It’s not a guarantee, but it’s not stupid. People play on names and sentimentality. How many actors have won a posthumous Oscar even if they weren’t actually the best actor that year? You know what I’m saying… No, I’m not suggesting we kill Deb. She’s not even attached to a movie right now to be able to get the Oscar.
Well, not if Jimmy and Kayla have anything to say about it! With their one film actually holding steady, they can’t afford to muck it up. But can they get Deb in? Given one actress’s talents, I’d take that as a yes. It’s a whole mess, but she’s in if she wants it…surprise, surprise. Pivot time again! Ava reminds her it’s about her l
egacy as a comedian. And what’s the biggest thing a comedian can do? Sell out Madison Square Garden. Only problem…Deb can’t perform. She’s still gagged for a year. ”Oh no, you’re sundownin’ darlin’.” But what if she was sneaky…
A secret show, no phones, and Deb can flex her comedy muscles. What a thing to be on stage again! Except, rut-roh, a secret phone filming the secret show, and now it’s time for court. Jesus, Deb, why’d you have to be so risky? Taking stupid chances of getting caught even though you confiscated everyone’s phones, but now you’ve publicly told the world on the courthouse steps that you’re being gagged, and you won’t stand down, and you plan to tell everyone your story next year at Madison Square Garden…well played, you beautiful little diva. Well played. Used the system against you to bolster your future attention and press? I love it. No notes. If this is the level of chess these women are out here playing, then I know the rest of this season is sure to be absolute fire! And I cannot wait for it!
That’s HACKS, uploaded to HBO Max on Thursdays.
