Martin Promises ‘Turds’ for Next Books in Series

By Jacob Klein on Jan 6, 2012 to Game of Thrones

The Onion has conducted a hilarious interview with George R.R. Martin about the next two installments in the A Song of Ice and Fire series of which HBO’s Game of Thrones is derived.   Here is the report: (caution.. adult language ahead)

“SANTA FE, NM-In the wake of last year’s highly successful publication of the fifth installment in his A Song Of Ice And Fire series, author George R.R. Martin assured fans Tuesday the final two books in the fantasy saga would be “complete turds.” “For starters, there’ll be no mention of the dragons at all, because I’m pretty much sick of writing about dragons at this point,” said Martin, who added he would also be introducing an entirely new storyline set on a completely different continent and featuring a cast of at least 50 new characters all vying for the same throne. “And I’m going to take even longer to write these last two, at least a decade each. Who knows if I’ll even be alive to finish them? Who cares? My son knows how to spell most of the characters’ names, so maybe I’ll let him wrap the whole thing up.” Martin said that while he didn’t want to give too much away, he was certainly going to kill off Tyrion and never resurrect him, because “that fucking dwarf” was annoying the shit out of him.”

For those of you still scratching your head you might want to read up on what The Onion actually is.. trust me.. it will save you some headaches now and in the future.  Let’s hope Martin gets those books written before any of the above happens.  That will never happen… will it?

News Tip: Tower of the Hand

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